An Open Letter to Parents

 

Chattanooga, TN

October 22, 2021

 
            Early yesterday morning I mentally revisited events of twenty-five years ago. Then a sixteen year old, I sat in the back of the family mini-van with my two brothers and two sisters on the way to school. Now a mom in the back of an SUV, I looked at my two sons and two daughters. Then, we had recently found out my dad had cancer. Now, we were on the way to drop off our children so my husband and I could go to his first cardiologist’s appointment. Then, I remembered the unwavering faith of my mom. Now, I was the mom.
            So, I have decided to write this open letter to any parent who will read it. These thoughts have been a fire in my soul since November 28, 2018, but, perhaps, now is the time to share them. I pray they will make a difference.
            The core of the matter is this: the best gift you as a parent can give your children is to put something in them that will get them through the hard times. They have to know God. They will go through times you can’t rescue them from, times you would do anything to remove. They have to have a real faith in the God of the Bible that’s deeper than anything else. The younger that is begun, the better, for it’s built over the long haul.
            It is not the church’s job to instill this kind of walk with God. It is ours as parents (see Deuteronomy 6). It is our duty and honor to be reflections of Jesus’ love and stability to them. It is our privilege to sacrifice our aspirations to pour our lives into theirs, to really value and listen to them. And sacrifice doesn’t mean buying them the coolest toys and trendiest clothes; it means slowing down long enough to really know them and teach them to know God.  So many Christians treat their kids like a nuisance, and then wonder why the kids treat them that way later. On the contrary, they are your most important ministry. Expect and encourage greatness from your children. My husband likes to say, “We are raising generals.” It doesn’t matter what their vocation is, they can be warriors in the kingdom of God, and they will need to be warriors to come out on top of life’s challenges.
            The best way to help build this kind of faith is to put Scripture in them. Like, chapters of Scripture. God’s Word is what will see them through (Matthew 4:4). Take Psalm 46, for example. It’s eleven verses. Take one verse a week or a month, and say it or talk about it just for a couple minutes every day. Ask them what it means, and how it applies to their lives. Think of illustrations of its truth from history, have them draw pictures of it; relate it to whatever interests and personalities they have. You’ll have the whole chapter memorized in eleven weeks/months. You can memorize the entire book of Philippians in two years by learning one verse a week. No storm can take away the jewels of the very Word of God hidden in their hearts.
            Be real yourself. I’m not talking perfect, just genuine. I remember my dad telling us he was sorry when he messed up, and I respected that a lot. Let your kids see you choosing to trust God when you’re in a hard place. Let them see you getting up to go to church when they know you’re tired. Let them see you treat their other parent with respect. Let them ask tough questions about any subject, and study the Word yourself to find God’s answers. Let them hear you worship even if it’s off-key. Let them hear you pray for them. Something I’ve always admired about my husband is that in our family prayer time each night, he prays specifically for each child. I hope they never forget those incredible prayers. Let them know you’re proud of them, and your love for them will never change.

           I could go on, but that’s enough for now. Look up Genesis 18:19, Psalm 78:4-7, Deuteronomy 6, and 3 John 4. Please, don’t let the most important things slip through your fingers.

Thanks for reading,
MaryBeth Hall
1Timothy 1:17